Statement from the complaints department at kiria.co.uk
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All staff here at Kiria.co.uk, under strict instruction by the lady owner of said website have a stringent policy of taking all comments and suggestions passed on to us extremely seriously. As most of you must have already gathered, Kiria is an extremely amenable girl who will do anything humanly possible to entertain and keep the general public happy at all times. Including taking criticism of any sort. Especially from entities such as important work colleagues in the field of music - namely Major record label executives and the most unfortunate dying breed of - her favourite people - A&R men. An industry largely responsible for some of the most wonderful, considerate and intuitive musical moves in the country we live in of late - for reference see the Pop charts from say, the last five or perhaps ten years. Oh yes, they really do ultimately know everything there is to know about style, talent, class, etcetera.
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In a bid to resolve any disputes regarding the owner of said website and it's content, a meeting has been conducted and we have come up with a new schedule of changes that should answer our important customer feedback.
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In a bid to resolve any disputes regarding the owner of said website and it's content, a meeting has been conducted and we have come up with a new schedule of changes that should answer our important customer feedback.
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1. Firstly, for those who find it irritating and do not wish to read anything about football, (sorry ladies and gay pals - I tried to win ya with the picture of Freddie in pants and if that won't do it then nothing will....) one of Kiria's favourite and most dear hobbies. Kiria intends to start a daily report on the terrific Arsenal Football Club, which will include player profiles, match stats, an in depth analysis of club tactics before and after each game commences, a detailed study of the Arsenal's history, an in depth commentary from Kiria on all of the games she has ever and will ever witness, AND, detailed descriptions of all the people she comes across in her everyday life who also support the club - including conversations in black taxis and sightings of shirt wearers in the street.
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2. For those who have stated they feel Kiria dresses too inappropriately to be able to gain the acceptance, understanding, and most importantly "RESPECT" of the general public, Kiria has decided to rid her wardrobe of any items of clothing that may be considered long, baggy or safe in any way. I.e. anything that is NOT considered to be entirely provocative or downright trashy gets binned. Kiria has booked an appointment to see her Rubber making girlfriend Anna of Inner Sanctum to make suitable replacements for these losses.
(This statement shall also apply to the comment that Kiria should become a bit more "K.T.Tunstall-esque" which is now impossible, as she now no longer owns any jeans.)
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2. For those who have stated they feel Kiria dresses too inappropriately to be able to gain the acceptance, understanding, and most importantly "RESPECT" of the general public, Kiria has decided to rid her wardrobe of any items of clothing that may be considered long, baggy or safe in any way. I.e. anything that is NOT considered to be entirely provocative or downright trashy gets binned. Kiria has booked an appointment to see her Rubber making girlfriend Anna of Inner Sanctum to make suitable replacements for these losses.
(This statement shall also apply to the comment that Kiria should become a bit more "K.T.Tunstall-esque" which is now impossible, as she now no longer owns any jeans.)
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3. With regard to the comments insinuating Kiria's poses in various images throughout the website are too "sexy" or of an inappropriate manner for a "musician" - Kiria is currently working on a serious of images in which she appears scantily - if at all clad, with the project title "guitar porn goddess" which will ensure that all website members must be above the age of 18 years old to access. (This must be added to keep things above board.) They shall show she is an extremely talented girl who is adept at getting to grips with her instruments.
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4. Finally, on a certain label's opinion that Kiria attaches herself to a particular "celebrity" boyfriend in order to gain large amounts of media coverage which will help to sell her records, Kiria has finally agreed in principal. But only in the event that she attach herself for a tiny fleeting moment, and only then in the form of her clenched fist.
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We are always glad to be of service to you all and truly hope that you enjoy listening to Kiria's music, looking at her photographs and reading her reflections in the diary pages. In the unlikely event that you find something distressing or not to your taste, then you have our blessing to FUCK OFF and read about or gawk at somebody that you do like, perhaps buy a blow up doll you can dress appropriately or even really scrape the barrel and listen to KT Tunstall.
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Yours, K.C. at the complaints dept. Any comments or queries regarding the above notes should be forwarded to me at
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