MORE TEA VICAR, MORE TEA....
I would like to recall a
little something that happened some time ago now but has been brought back to the forefront of my mind. It
was my journey home from Turin, via Frankfurt a few months ago. I had a
marvellous, triumphant stay with my club....the trip was a great success. Even
my journey home which was almost postboned, due to sudden floods of tears at
check out time at my hotel. Much to the amusement / wonder of their sweet and
accommodating staff.. (possibly sorry to see the great bundle of free
entertainment which was I leaving the establishment.) I did not want to go home
and leave what had been such a Lovely stay.
I begrudgingly sat in taxi
to station with head held low, whimpering like an upset child all the way to the
airport, which must have been fairly odd for the driver considering we won.
Funny lot, the English eh?
My journey took
a few unexpected twists though which was a relief. Not only did we fly over the Swiss Alps which were utterly
beautiful and I now intend to visit again but I was randomly seated next to a Lovely Morrissey loving
music photographer from the Daily Express. We proceeded to delight in the wonder
of Moz lyrics and quotes and it was all ever so nice. His best friend sitting across the
way happened to be the boss of a fabulous well respected (by me) record label
who have the wonderful BUZZCOCKS on their books which cheered me up!
In Frankfurt for my connecting flight I was
held up and searched whilst discussing my musical exploits to a young chap who turned out to be a BBC
Radio presenter.....altogether interesting moment. Follow up even more hilarious but that
story is for another day!!
Excitedly hopping on my connecting flight I was horrified to find that the seat reserved for me was sat next
to a PRIEST!
I AM AN THE ANTI CHRIST, I AM AN
ANARCHIST, DON'T KNOW
WHAT I WANT BUT I KNOW HOW TO GET IT.....sprung to my cheeky mind immediately!
No amount of looking around desperately like a poor lamb heading straight for slaughter (how CAN you eat that?) or the numerous expletives that ran
through my worried and desperately hungover mind were about to save me, that
seat had my name on it. In capital letters. A punishment from the great big
thing above perhaps for being so damn naughty? Who knows. I slowly and nervously
adjusted my vest to ENTIRELY cover my rather generous amount of cleavage on
display (well - for a priest anyway....) and graciously took my seat.
During the first ten or twenty minutes of
said flight I nervously kept HEAD PUSHED FIRMLY AGAINST window hoping not to
make eye contact, hands firmly in prayer position on my lap, before coming round from my
awful pre programmed bout of prejudice and seizing the opportunity to make my
final flight a little more interesting. Yes, I put my naturally inquisitive mind
to work on finding out a little more. - Initial contact somewhat
prompted by the fact that the Priest did as I did and ordered A BEER! Yes, a
BEER. Woweeey....I wasn't the only sinner in the row.........
To my amazement I found the
Priest was wonderful. A truly Lovely, kind and interesting man. After
embarrassingly asking why he drank beer when it was apparently "the route of all
evil" and being put straight on the fact that it was in fact MONEY.....(credit
card nods agreeably from pocket at this moment - still scorned by the white
leather boots purchased on very trip) he proceeded to enlighten unenlightened I
for the rest of our trip.....The Priest even displayed interest in the new
Arsenal stadium...(the closest experience to religion little I have experienced
in some years)
The Priest was returning from a meeting he set up regarding an
organisation he set up about raising awareness for unfortunate humans that are
persecuted and in fact often killed for Christianism (p.c. telling me that aint
a word but you get me....) Which bought up some very interesting stories and
facts indeed......
Anyway. Yesterday afternoon I was walking
down Portobello Road for a visit to a little shoe shop for a fix. (well - two
fixes in the end :-D) Whilst standing and checking out newbies from all angles
my gaze fell upon a pair of wonderfully groomed feet in exactly the shoes I was
already wearing....now scattered across the shop floor with all my other
belongings, hastily discarded in my mad addict like rush for the racks. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOh I thought, now that girl has great taste. On further inspection
I discovered said shoe wearer was in fact a Lovely music bizzy girl (yes - there
are some) I know called Maya whom I haven't seen for some time. We decided to
kill our purses but leave a little for some valuable play time in one or two of the many local bars....drinking outside in the sunshine and having a
ball.....My weary head nods in dismay at the "IN THE SUNSHINE" bit.
Shock horror, after said day's debauchery,
Maya managed to deliver me home safely, with shoes, purse, bag and dignity still
intact. How she managed it remains a mystery to me!
Where am I getting to? Erm......oh,
back to
the "money is the route of all evil" line. I'm sorry Priest, but I shall
now be hanging on to my original booze quote because it certainly is much more
fitting for this heavy headed monster....
I'm sorry ok, sorry. That's
it for me and the dreaded bottle, Love affair finished. In style I must add, I
had a great time but it's over!
Dear brain cells....If I repeat
this action and cause you any more damage, I
promise to head straight for the nearest confession box....
:-)
XXXX
