The Snot Factory.
T'is the poorly one. I am alive. Hanging on in here. Although recently the s*** has hit the fan with the force of a hurricane, I am a survivor. "I AM A TIGER" to quote Ben Tyce....(aaaaaahhhhhh - I must tell you my nephew stories) I've not managed to go very far, but have been out a little bit. Been sitting in the garden a fair amount. I had a rather annoying domestic problem over the weekend in that my toilet got blocked. I know it was my fault - and before you rush to the unsavoury but giggle inducing conclusion that I am full of s***, you'd be kind of on the right lines. Just add NOT to the word and bingo. I have been so damned full of snot that I've been through three boxes of "man" sized tissues in the last fortnight. You men - you can keep your facial hair, Mastercards and oh lets not go any further there, but I have to insist on having "man" size tissues because I like BIG too and don't see why they should have their own. Anyway. They aint all that special. Ok, maybe larger, but they aren't made all slim and soft and cushy like normal tissues, and secondly on the fault front is it appears they don't flush very well. SO. Blocked toilet ensues. :-(
Anyway, the man who actually came to fix the thing was a bit of a surprise. I thought it was a joke at first and I'd called some handy hunk rental line, as I opened the door to a six foot, erm, tanned and muscular thing that looked a bit like something of a diet coke advert, aherm, or ladies film.... Bursting out of his shirt he was - cool it now girls....eyes on the job....
Anyway, he comes in and is really chatty and I'm wondering where on earth he is from because it sure isnt the usual workman's Polish or East London accent.
So, to swiftly change the subject when he walks on in to the bathroom and says "ooh, sorry, I didn't realise I got you out of the bath" futher fuelling my worries about who I'd called, I asked where he was from as he had an unusual accent. Atlanta, Georgia, he goes, at which point I go "Oh! How glamorous...." at the precise moment he has his hand shoved right down my dirty bog. Lovely silence to follow.... :-D
So. That's about it on the news front. Not much happening here until I recover. Just watched Madonna on tv and she looks really amazing. Cor, 50 indeed. Perhaps she might put that electric guitar down though eh.....very ropey. I'm down in the dumps, the sun is having a field day and drowning everything, the NHS are a pile of crap and no don't let me go there and I hope to have a long, long sleep now. In fact I'd happily not wake up 'til I'm better again. G'nighty folks. XXXX
