Bon soir mes amis....

T'is moi. Alone in Gay Paris. Well, I say alone, as although I am surrounded by so many people clucking and wooing, chatting and laughing in this beautiful city, I feel as lonely as a solitary tear running down a bone dry cheek or an unknown soldier heading into a battle that is already lost. Yeah, "oh woe is I jokes aside" - I seriously do feel like shit. This black mood has been bought about by the fact that when I came home from the glorious Maldives last Tuesday, my little furry companion Lulu was a very frail little pussycat. I knew she had not been eating well and that she also gets seriously withdrawn when I am away, but she appeared to get drastically worse by the day, to the point that I had to leave her in cat hospital for 2 days all alone for various drug injections, tests and a biopsy.

Upon her tearful return I was relieved only for a day as I was then told she has a tumour. An apparently nasty one too, which is not going away and is immediately life threatening as it is in her throat and affects her breathing and ability to eat.

As you can imagine, shooting in Paris (I am writing this from L'Hotel) was the last thing on the list of things I would have liked to be doing this week, and I have found this time away from her grim and painful. I have always had a liking for spending lots of time by myself. Wether writing, drawing or making music, little Lulu has become a huge part of my life as my companion in my home for the last ten years. I've been growing up with her. She is like a delicate, consistent, undemanding, loving little barrel of sunshine. People come and they go but Lulu, she stays. I feel so distraught about the fact she is suffering, and that I have left her, and also, maybe selfishly, that she may have to leave my side. I just can't fucking stand it.

Anyway, thankfully I go back to her tomorrow, please send her all your Love, I will try and get to an internet cafe to keep updating this diary as my PC died. Kisses from Paris, soon........ X