Enemy of the N.M.E. - Thursday morning's soapbox....
N.M.E. Love or hate? What's it to be people? The magazine that was once THE magazine. Anybody still an avid fan? Remember practising to be a teenager and rushing to the shop before school trying to get the damn thing a day early so you could find out what was going on? Maybe not - I was a total music nut from an early age....
Well bugger me sideways (ahem), the "NEW" - I think I'll dub it "OLD" music express has well and truly seen it's days. I've kinda thought that for a long while now but today's offering has convinced me that it seriously needs a re-vamp before I waste £2.10 on that pile of biased old rubbish again....
Why? Because the magazine is trying so desperately hard to retain some kind of musical identity stamp that it only writes about bollocksy old disposable "cool" music that is mostly flash in the pan gone in sixty seconds shoe gazing un-inventive unimaginative and most importantly un enjoyable crap that THEY have decided to bestowe upon you as "cooooool" because it's "different".
And by "cool" I'm talking let me see - dodgy side partings, crud trainers, shoe gazers, crap lyrics, tank tops, nothing sounding miserable samey old duff-cack that goes in one ear and out the other.
The only reason I bought it today was because I knew Morrissey was on the cover - whose comments were taken all out of context YET again - in yet another dire attempt at making one of the few interesting characters still in the game to look a prick for speaking his mind. (It's not allowed you know - everything in the NME has to be regimented like everything else that sucks) by some whiny ed going "These are sensitive times and Morrissey's comments simply cut directly across the 'spirit of unity' we are trying to promote". I mean P*** OFF! Please spare me! Morrissey's comments about England having lost it's identity were a personal statement about how he feels about the country he hails from today - NOT at all to my mind a racist nod to the BN bloody P. What an insult! The NME itself has lost it's identity and dwindled into an unworthy, small minded music magazine that is best left for dead.
???????? F***ing hell man. And exactly WHAT spirit of unity? The "spirit of unity" we feel living in this messed up modern day life? The spirit of unity we feel when we all go and watch Amy Winehouse torture herself on stage when she is obviously not up to it and needs help for the sake of a few more record sales or column inches? Well I certainly wasn't feeling any "spirit of unity" after flicking through the pages of an up it's own arse narrow minded advert stacked musically biased waste of precious tree........
Erm, dear ed, we are promoting a new single....can we have a cover please? Sod it. And yeah, I have been pre-warned about shooting my mouth off at those supposedly in a position to offer me help - but so what. I don't care "a" less. (another Kiria mistake apparently). If you don't say what you think then it festers, so get it out folks, that's what I say. Better out than in. Always speak your mind! Back in a bit. Bigmouth Strikes Again eh, ;-) - time to dig that wonderful old record out methinks....and, Moz, carry on being you because the world would be mighty dull without ya.
