COME ON LADIES! Oh, and erm, well, any stocking wearers....

The ass has now fallen out (probably bad choice of phrase) of the sales of stockings. I read this devastatingly sad and worrying news today in the newspaper. Apparently with the rise in fashion of tights and "leggings" - sorry - but leggings should NEVER have been allowed into fashion - no not even the first time round....stocking sales make up only TWO percent of hosiery sales in the UK.

Being a proud part of that two percent - an avid stocking/hold up and good old bare leg fan who NEVER wears tights - and as for leggings - well - I have one rubber pair and one patent pair - neither of which finish half way up my shins, so they are'nt exactly leggings - they could pass as trousers. Sorry girls, but it is just NOT a good look. Leggings suck. Always have done and always will do. Do'nt listen to what any old "fashion" pratt or "moody bloke trying to make you cover up" tries to tell you - leggings ain't cool, and never, ever will be. They look frumpy and naff and totally unflattering on anybody over about 10. Skirts over leggings should definitely not be legal. Sod all this banning people from smoking - what about people parading the streets freely in leggings and ra-ra skirts?

Unless you are of course dressing as a pumpkin or something equally distasteful for a night out around 31st of October which you could be JUST about let off for - such items should be well and truly avoided at all times. You know it.

Bring back stockings I say. You KNOW they're the best. They are sexy, comfortable and flattering. What more do you want? And so starts my campaign. Goodnight.