Afternoon darlings.
Today I be the bringer of useless information.
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Did you know that at three minutes and four seconds after 2 am on Sunday the 6Th of May, the time and date will be 02:03:04 05/06/07. This will never happen again. So, I hope you are doing summit lovely at that moment. Namely dancing, shagging or sleeping. All wonderful exploits but you can't do all three, OK?
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I had the day from hell yesterday. So relieved am I to have a great day working from home today. Shame that little word "working" had to be in that sentence though. My beautiful mad old bed arrived yesterday so I'd much prefer to be spending some quality time getting to know it. Jeez I'm a big old ponce. It's appears to be slightly missing one thing which is a giant castle around it....
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Men damn it - men can be so embarrassing sometimes. They have the ability to be so adorable and sexy and charming but alot of them also have this duff horrible ape like monster side that can just leave a girl feeling pretty uninspired. And that's phrasing it politely.
Someone needs to set up a school. A school for male sexual etiquette. Teach the basics. You know - like do not touch a girl who hasn't asked you to and do not ever try and pull a girl's skirt up unless you are six years old or again she has asked you to and do not follow a girl in the street telling her she has "beautiful tits" at the top of your voice - you know - the kinda stuff that seems pretty obvious to not get desirable results.... like, NEVER slow down your car and insist on trying to chat up a girl in the street etcetera - I mean - how bizarre is that? Firstly the first thought that flashes through your mind is the horror that you are about to become a kidnap victim or secondly that they are a kerb crawler and hope you are a prostitute. The former f***ing frightening and the latter very insulting. And it ain't just the occasional weirdo either - this run of events happened to me no less than FOUR times in about an hour only yesterday. Oh, and NEVER say "I'm not a weirdo, but" as your first line. It's like the old "trust me" thing. You get me? It doesn't work. In fact it's repulsive. I know, I know, we live in a relatively cold country so you don't see very much flesh very often and the heat makes us all go a bit silly - but please, take a chill pill and keep it cool man - watch your approach if you must insist on making one. There is no excuse for all this shit. And for all the boys out there who are cute and do their best to approach a girl with manners - if you still receive a big fat f*** you - do be aware that said female may have just had a whole day of experiencing above types of stupidness before you came along. Oh, and another thing. If a woman smiles at you it could just mean she is an ordinarily pleasant human being rather than a desperate one who is gagging for you to follow her for sex. Sort it out lads. I can't start a school as I have NOOOO patience and I'd swiftly land in the shit for bullying my students. You aren't allowed to smack people any more.
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Anyhow. My evening took a kinda turn for the better last night. Well, my shoot was a disaster so couldn't'a got alot worse - I can't even bring myself to talk about that yet. Anyway - I may have a new job it seems. Singing at a burlesque cabaret club. Will keep you informed if it goes ahead as it will be great fun but I'm half praying stuff will kick off pretty soon at this end and I'll be far too busy making records to do much else. See ya later little diary.
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