A Jelly Baby walks in to a bar and starts talking to a Smartie.
After a few beers the Smartie says: 'A bunch of us are heading over to that new club. Fancy tagging along?'

'No thanks,' the jelly baby replies. 'I'm a soft centre - I always end up getting my head kicked in.'
'Don’t worry, 'the Smartie assures him. 'I'm a bit of a hard case, I'll look after you.'

'OK!' grins the jelly baby. so they go to the club.

After a few beers, three Lockets walk in. They take one look at the Jelly Baby and start beating him up, then walk off laughing.

'I thought you were going to look after me! 'gasps the jelly baby, rubbing his bruises.
'I was,' replies the smartie. 'But those Lockets are fucking MENTHOL!!'

Anyway.... I promise not to tell any jokes tomorrow if you are coming along to the gig in Kentish Town! I won't be able to anyway as I haven't had a right lot to smile about this week!! Trapped nerves in my back so unable to sleep or move properly for four days, one band member down suddenly, Taylor out of work and having flat dilemmas, blahblahblah it never rains and all that.... BUT, all that aside I'm really looking forward to tomorrow night, it's a bit of a Punk Rock affair so who gives a shit if we aint up to scratch on the rehearsed front and the PA's apparently blown up.... if it all goes completely pear shaped I'll gob at the crowd and get Taylor to cause a fight before we leave in an angry frenzy so we do promise to keep you amused one way or another, and if we don't then I'm sure Garry Bushell and the Lovely Gonads will! Hope to see you there, we'll be there before 8 when the doors open and are up first.... please print the flyer below if you want cheap entry, lotsalove! xxxx